One Day It Will All Make Sense
“Change man, I guess change is good for any of us, whatever it takes to get out of the ditch.”
- Sample of the politically correct version of Tupac.
Like many of us, I’m not a big fan of change. I don’t like unplanned situations and when I’m not in control. Although deep down I know some situations are bigger than me. Following this train of thought, I sometimes catch myself trying to figure out when it’s most ideal to make a change. When should I give up my career and follow my passion? When should I accept that the older we get, the various paths we take, and as a result some important relationships remain, others dissolve and new ones form? When should I accept that it isn’t entirely true that strength is the only key for survival, when wisdom can take us places where strength can’t? When will I realize that isn’t always about how much someone’s got or how much more they can gain but their faithfulness and obedience toward what they have been given?
Change comes in many different ways and as it’s new, it may seem crazy. Crazy because we aren’t sure how the situation will affect us or this world around us. But the biggest questions to ask are: Is the fear of the unknown really greater than the wrath that might occur from being stuck in the same place? Is the fear of the unknown really greater than portraying a fake personality and longing for people’s acceptance or love? Is the fear of the unknown really greater than letting those who don’t love and appreciate us dictate our journey of self-discovery and self-love?
All these thoughts, all these questions, and somehow I still hate change. I don’t like the way it feels and I definitely don’t like the stress it can bring. The processes during these transformations can feel so daunting. But I guess none of that really matters. Change is a part of life and crucial for our survival. Many of us are afraid of rejection and standing up for what we believe, especially when beliefs are quickly deemed as obsolete or too spiritual. So then the question becomes are we really changing for good and becoming better or we are just buried under the opinions and the projections of others?
While I can’t really answer that, and as crazy as all this seems, I think change is about being in tune with that special heartbeat, being ready to act on it, and pivot when that moment comes. I don’t think I will ever stop asking myself if the changes in my life were worth it. But hopefully one day I will look back and say yes they were. One day it will all make sense!